I would rather have sex with a half dog half horse thing than get a New Found Glory or a Forever the Sickest Kids tatty. Man. Just sayin.

In other "having sex with a horse" news, have you seen 2 Guys 1 Horse/Mr Hands??? Shit is pretty artsy/cool. Don't know what I am talkin about? Google it. U WONT. lol? YES PLZ!

Random Survey Time!

Explain the shirt you are wearing right now.
I am rocking my most fav Senses Fail shirt right now. It is black (black shirts r00l) and it also has a pink storm trooper on it. I love Star Wars. I am a real GEEK but whatever cuz I got a furry chewbacca.

Explain the shirt you worse yesterday.
I didn't wear a shirt yesterday, I wore a bra. Is it weird to wear a bra if I am a guy? I don't know, it makes me feel pretty. Is feeling pretty a crime? If so, arrest me! Haaaay!

What's something you do all the time?
Listen to Senses Fail while taking drugs. Don't tell my mom.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
Buddy from Senses Fail. JAY KAY! I wish. I talked to my hand.

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed on the lips?
Wut?

Do you like to cuddle?
Only when I am drunk and listening to Senses Fail.

Does a French kiss make you feel better?
It depends; it pisses me off when my dad kisses me when he hasn't shaved in a few day. I TOTES HATE THOSE LITTLE PRICKILIES. THEY SCRATCHY ME! HAAAY!

Do you hate the last person you French kissed?
I think I am at the age when all boys hate their mom. Being 11 sucks. Can't wait until I am 13.

Is anyone else in the room with you?
I live by myself. My apartment r00lz.

Did you ever like someone you know you shouldn't have?
My grandmother is hot. Well, she looks kinda weird when she doesn't have her dentures in, but when they are in, WHOA MAMA. TOTAL GILF!

What time did you wake up today?
69

Think back five months ago, were you single?
Nah, I was still dating that 55 year old creepy guy but he was a Senses Fail fan so that iz chill as fuck dog.

Have you ever found it hard to get over someone?
I like turtles.

What is something that you realized today?
Pluto is not a planet?

How late did you stay up last night? Why?
69

Are you a patient person?
I jizz too much.

Would you rather be called 'baby' or 'honey?'
Baby. I like to dress up in diapers. Cool?

Do you live near a beach or amusement park?
Both, kinda, I mean, my bathroom is kinda like a water park... GOLDEN SHOWERS? Don't mind if I do!

Have you ever failed a final exam?
11 year olds don't take EXAMS! Duh! Stupid survey!

Is there anyone you cannot go a day without talking to?
Buddy from Senses Fail.

Do you look people in the eye when you talk to them?
Not sure, I am blind. Thanks for making me feel weird now, shitty survey!

P.S. This post was waaaaay toooo long.

P.S.S. That's what she said.

Umm... Yeah... Umm... Does that say Labia Starship?????? I am fuckin' positive that it does because there is no way in hell that it says Cobra Starship.

LOL @ shitty logos and shitty fonts.

"I make them good girls go bad" -The Labia Starships

P.S. DOES SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU? IF YOU SEND THIS LABIA STARSHIP POST TO 5 OF YOUR FRIENDS WITHIN THE NEXT 5 MINUTES YOU WILL KNOW WHO YOUR CRUSH IS. AFTER YOU SEND THE POSTS, PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS. LOL.

What is that smell? Did I step in dog shit? Let me check my shoes. Nope, no dog shit there. Something is really stanking up my trendy studio apartment.

OH WOW!!! I KNOW WHAT IT IS!!! The thing that is making my apartment smell like dead babies/ Taco Bell/ burning tires/ gasoline/ Liz Claiborne cologne/ etc is the latest Cobra Starship CD that is sitting on my phat ass IKEA kitchen table. Their new release, it smells terrible. What do I do??? Wait, I have an idea... FEBREZE!!! My mom gave me some Febreze and she totally raves about it. She says it is the only thing that can make her vagina stop smelling like a horse farm.

Ok, here I go! (SPRAY SPRAY SPRAY!)

Ugh!!!! I sprayed Febreze Extra Strength Odor Eliminator all over the CD and it still smells horrendous!!! Fuck this!!!

Big fuck you to Cobra Starship for ruining my apartment. I think I am going to light my apartment on fire. I am going to watch it burn. Who needs a place to live, anyway? Having a home is overrated. I want to be more punk rock. Real punks don't have a home. I would rather just be homeless and creepy. I would rather just spend my days over at my local library being a creep and reading creepy books. Then, after they kick me out of the library, I would just walk over to my local Apple Store. That is the location where I can log onto the internet and look at p0rn. Looking at pur-no in a public setting is such an UBER turn on. Bill Gates would approve, right? That is why he invented Apple Stores.

P.S. Midtown iz kewl.

I'm thinking about starting a band. I want the whole band to dress up like clowns. I want someone in my band who looks just like Guy Fieri from The Food Network. I think if I started a band like this, we could be huge. I think Drive Thru Records would sign us (love you Richie and Stephie). That would be da shit!

Maybe if Drive Thru Records passes on us, we can send our demos out to Run For Cover Records??? I mean, if Run For Cover Records signed those little shits in Title Fight, they sure as hell would sign my CLOWN BAND!!!! Clown bands are the WAVE OF THE FUTURE!!!

Will you help me start a band like this? I need you to donate as much face paint as you can to me. I can't afford to buy face paint because I am saving money for a 6th generation iPhone. If you send me face paint, I will send you coupons for Pizza Hut. Everyone likes Pizza Hut... RIGHT????? I know those dudes in Title Fight like pizza so YOU should too!

Every one hundred years or so, there comes a band that CHANGES EVERYTHING. Whether this band means to or not, they fuckin redefine the music industry/scene and PLANET EARTH (maybe even Pluto too). What band am I speaking about? The one, the only...

The Format!!!!!1!!

Before The Format, no one in the scene had smelly hair. If it wasn't for The Format, we would not have Bayside and their smell haired members making smelly music for other smelly haired kiddes. Thank you to The Format.

Before The Format, no one in the scene had a smelly beard. If it wasn't for The Format, we would not have Four Year Strong and their uber kewl beards! I mean, come on, beards R the future of PUNK RAWK. Go outside and take a walk to the "bad" part of town and start hanging out with that homeless dude outside of Burger King, the one with that radical beard; he just might start a PUNK RAWK BAND (BUM MOSH!!!!) and we have The Format to thank for that.

Before The Format, no one in the scene wore cardigan sweaters. If it wasn't for The Format, we would never have Kurt Cobain and his ska band called The Nirvanas (this just in, Nirvana signed to Drive Thru Records, read more about it HERE). Thank you to The Format.

And last but not least, before The Format, no one in the scene wore PHAT ASS PINK SHIRTS. The Format has been wearing kooky wacky pink shirts waaaaay before Cash Cash! If it wasn't for The Format, we would not have Cash Cash and that means that we would NEVER have a PARTY in our BEDROOMS... ever!!! Thank you to The Format, because of you guys, I have parties in my bedroom... all night long.

THIS JUST IN!!! LATE BREAKING NEWS!!! Just got an email a few hours ago. The person above is speaking about our latest Saves The Day post from a few days ago called "Through Being Funyuns."

Apparently this FuckThatBand.com super fan feels that we made a mistake in our top notch journalistic reporting? Hmmmm. Apparently he thinks that the Saves The Day CD called "Through Being Cool" was released on Equal Vision Records and not Drive Thru Records?!?!?! ZOMG?!?!!?

INSERT CRICKET SOUNDS HERE

I fuckin hate Funyuns so much. That snack tastes like pure shit and it makes your breath smell like ass for over 48 hours! It doesn't matter how many times you brush your teeth, it doesn't matter how many mentos/ roofies/ starbursts you put in your mouth, YOUR BREATH STILL WILL SMELL LIKE SHIT.

"Dude, chill out! Funyuns are the TITS d00d!

The tits? Nah man, Funyuns are not the tits. Funyuns are about as "radical" as that Saves The Day CD called "Through Being Cool."

"Dude, chill out! Holly Hox, Forget Me Nots is the best song ever!"

No dude, "Through Being Cool" is the WORST cd Drive Thru Records has EVER PUT OUT (love you Richie and Stephie)!!! Here is a list of things that I would rather do than listen to Saves The Day's "Through Being Cool."

- Drink AXE body wash
- Watch Grey's Anatomy
- Spray AXE Body Deodorant Spay in my eyes
- Watch WALL-E
- Take a shower with my grandma
- Sprinkle my grandpa's ashes on french fries and feed them to my pot smoking friends who have "da munchies"
- Read the Bible
- Listen to Two Tongues
- Learn to tap dance (insert Tilly and the Wall LOLZ here)
- And last but not least, I would rather eat Funyuns!!!

P.S. In other news, I am thinking about going to University of Phoenix next semester... yay or nay???

Upside Down Barack Obama told me to tell you that The Format was shitty and FUN is even shittier. Just saying.

Man, I hate it when hellish bands (aka The Format) break up and start up an even MORE HELLISH BAND (aka FUN). It just doesn't make sense to me. Nate Ruess (ex The Format) is a dork and Jack Antonoff from Steel Train doesn't know shitttttttttt about music. It is mega lolz that these two cuties are making "music" together. LOL.

In other news, yo Jack Antonoff: sign my OUTLINE cassette tape. Remember OUTLINE??? U prob don't but we do. GET MOSHIN!!!! CIRCLE PIT!!!

Dude, have you dudes heard that band yet called Person L??? That band is such a fuckin joke!!! The singer is trying WAY TOOOOOOOO FUCKIN HARD to sound like the singer of The Starting Line. That makes me sick. I hate it when people totally bite off other peoplez style. Fuckin' sucks man. The singer of Person L should be fuckin ashamed of himself/herself. Now please excuse me while I throw up all over my Person L cd.

P.S. I didn't buy the Person L cd, I illegally downloaded it from a bit torrent site called Brazzers or Hulu or BangBros or some shit like that. You think I am going to actually PAY FOR MUSIC???? Dude it isn't 1995 anymore man!!! GET WITH THE PROGRAM YOOOOOOOO!!!!

Eight Things I Look Forward To This Summer:
01 graduating high school this June.
02 turning 21 this June.
03 seeing what happens on gossip girl.
04 going to see Gym Class Heroes LIVE IN CONCERT (15th time! U jealous?).
05 flip flops.
06 warped tour.
07 interning at Drive Thru Records.
08 starting my own clothing company.

Eight Things I Did Yesterday:
01 sleepin pills, they help me "relax" and shit.
02 coke!!! Took some coke. First time ever. Lost my "C" card lolz.
03 purchased flip flops from Old Navy. <3OldNavy4e.
04 ate a lot of bubble tape, you like bubble tape? I do.
05 complained about "the economic crisis" and shit.
06 flirted with Travis McCoy (syke! I wish!)
07 ate nachos and cheese with Travis McCoy (syke! I wish!).
08 went fishing with my dad (jk, my dad walked out on me and mom when I was 3 months old, sucks, I fuckin hate my life).

Eight Things I Wish I Could Do:
01 hang out with my dad. :-(
02 hang out with Travis McCoy. :-)
03 work in the music industry.
04 make the voices stop.
05 experiment with an animal (or ghost).
06 get "closure" and shit.
07 move to "the city" and use public transportation on a daily basis.
08 get a tattoo of Travis McCoy's face on my tits.

Did you hear? Punchline and Socratic will be touring together during the whole month of June. That is so LOL. I can't wait for this comedy tour to come to my town. I am going to LOL during the whole performance. I love comedy shows. I love to LOL. Punchline makes me LOL. Socratic makes me LOL. Will this comedy tour be sponsored by Comedy Central or MAD TV? Can I watch the behind the scenes footage of this tour on the National Lampoons Channel? My fingers are crossed that Dane Cook also joins this already massive comedy tour. Dear God please make this happen. Thank you.

P.S. H8 Dane Cook so much. Would rather listen to 69 hours of his stand up than listen to one minute of Punchline or Socratic live in concert.

Huge congrats to ma boyz in Nirvana. I am soo0o0o0o0o syked they are FINALLY on a legit record label!!! So syked they signed with Drive Thru Records. Punk iz kewl again!!!

Word around the rumor mill/water cooler/ strip club/ Disney Land/ Burger King is that Nirvana will be hitting the road this summer with fellow label mates, Houston Calls, for a full US tour. Of course, as soon as we get more info on this, we will let you know. We here at FuckThatBand.com are committed to letting the masses know about all things AWESOME in the world of PUNK RAWKKKKKK.

P.S. Love you so much Richard and Stephanie!!!1!!

Just got an email earlier. The person is speaking about our Midtown post from a few days ago called "Midtown Music On The Internet?"

I am really confused... Midtown broke up? Lies. Fuckin lies. I hate lies so much. People who spread lies are total assholes. I hate it when people spread dumb rumors about bands breaking up. NOT KEWL DUDE.

But seriously though, can someone give me a ride to the Midtown show next week in the city??? My mom is being a total BITCH HOE SKANK right now and refuses to drive me because she works 2 jobs and says she is too tired. Fuck her. She is poor, NOT MY PROBLEM!!! UGHHHHHHHH.

P.S. Have you heard that new Midtown song yet??? The one called "Snakes On A Plane (Bring It)" and I am calling it right now, it is TOTALLY gonna be the SONG OF THE SUMMER. For realsies.

I am looking for a place where I can buy music online. It is really hard to get music online. I just don't feel like driving to my local record store anymore, gas prices man, TOO HIGH DUDE. I figured it is easier to just get my songs from the internet. Ya know what I mean?

Have you guys ever heard of iTunes? I hear it is a place where I can buy music. Can I search by artist? I am looking for some stuff from the band called Midtown. You guys probably never heard of Midtown. Midtown is going to be huge.

Midtown has a bunch of great songs. Here is a list of Midtown songs you need to download ASAP.

1. Guilty Pleasure
2. The City is at War
3. Guilty Pleasure
4. The City is at War
5. Guilty Pleasure
6. The City is at War

I love punk rock music. Music is my life. Midtown is my life. MTV is my life. Twitter is my life. McDonalds Dollar menu is my life. Costco is my life. Verizon BlackBerry CrackBerry is my life. FuckThatBand.com is my life. FuckThatBand.com is your life. FuckThatBand.com is my present to you. Happy Birthday.

Attention everyone, we are extremely excited to announce that those cuties over at Fearless Records have done it again! They have created a compilation CD called Punk Goes Linkin Park! This album contains a collection of songs by various REAL LIFE PUNK RAWK artists performing their favorite (and your favorite) covers of Linkin Park songs. This CD is totally going to win an Oscar. Rumor has it that All Time Low, The Get Up Kids, and Ace Enders are all confirmed.

I am going to suck off iTunes so hard once that album is available. I am going to suck iTunes' digital wang bone off so hard. I love you Fearless Records. You guys are a bunch of fuckin' geniuses!

In other news, check out PUNK GOES POP VOLUME 2 for some mega lolz.

York Peppermint Patties, I fuckin' hate them so much. They are the shittiest candy in the history of candies. GROSS! GROSS! GROSS! Don't act like you actually enjoy the taste of York Peppermint Patties, you are clearly insane if that is the case!

I Am The Avalanche, I fuckin' hate them so much. They are the shittiest band in the history of PUNK RAWKZ. GROSS! GROSS! GROSS! Don't act like you actually enjoy the music of I Am The Avalanche, you are clearly insane if that is the case!

Huge congrats to ma boyz in Blink 182. I am soo0o0o0o0o syked they are FINALLY back together!!! So syked they signed with Drive Thru Records. Punk iz kewl again!!!

P.S. Love you so much Richard and Stephanie!!!1!!

Last night, my neighbors' car alarm started going off at three in the morning, causing all the dogs on the block to join in and howl along.

I can't complain though. I would rather listen to all of that noise for 10 straight nights than listen to 10 straight seconds of anything from New Found Glory.

Jus sayin' doodz.

Oh noes, I hope da international superheroes of hardcore aren't mad at me. LOLZ CAPTAIN STRAIGHT EDGE TEE HEE HEE HEE.

You know what DOESN'T exist but I wish DID exist? The Loch Ness Monster.

You know what DOES exist that I wish DIDN'T exist? The music of Never Shout Never.

Never Shout Never totally makes me gag, bleh. Vomitrocious! This garbage sounds like an even worse version of Hellogoodbye. Is that even possible? Oh yes, it certainly is. O burn! Forrest, U mad? Tee hee hee. Hugz and kissez.

Yesterday my mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I was happy to tell her but before I went on about what I wanted, I felt it was extremely important to tell her exactly what I didn't want. The following is my DO NOT FUCKING BUY ME THIS GARBAGE FOR CHRISTMAS list.

Do not get me any merchandise or CDs from the band Danger Radio. Mom, I would rather listen to you and dad have sex than listen to their music.

Do not get me a fucking Huffy bike. Mom, you are an asshole if you do that. You know that all my friends ride Mongoose Bikes hard as hell, so you best get Mongoose or so help me god.

Do not get me anything from the band 3OH!3. Mom, remember when I said that I would rather listen to you and dad have sex than listen to Danger Radio music? Well, I would rather actually have sex with you and dad than listen to 3OH!3 music.

And last but not least, mom, don't get me an Official SAT Study Guide. I told you before, I DON'T WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE!!! I got it all planned out, I sent my bands demo to Drive Thru Records already. I know they are going to sign us. I mean, come on, they signed Socratic for gods sake. Getting signed cant be THAT hard. I cannot wait to tour as soon as I graduate high school. Junior year SUXXXXXX but I am the co-captain of the JV bowling team so that is pretty chill.

Kool-Aid seriously tastes like piss. Every time I drink the garbage, my internal organs start yelling at me; they start calling me an asshole for subjecting them to that poison. I can just feel my teeth rotting as I have the Kool-Aid in my mouth. Kool-Aid seriously puts me on the edge of my seat, toilet seat that is!!!!!!!!!!

Ironically, I get the EXACT SAME feeling throughout my entire body when I listen to New Found Glory. The urge to throw up is beyond uncontrollable. Old school New Found Glory, new school New Found Glory, it is all sewage to me. So you can imagine the mega LOLZ that I had when I found out that New Found Glory totally had a Kool-Aid parody shirt for all the kiddies to purchase on their webstore. Mega lolz (insert cliche Kool-Aid man "OH YEAH" catch phrase here)

Houston Calls is coming out with a new record. They are calling it "The End of an Error" and it will be available everywhere 10/14/2008! In other news, I know for a fact that this CD is going to be garbage. How do I know? I know because the last CD was garbage. Don’t bother going to the record store to buy this crap, if you really want to hear this record, all you have to do is just walk on over to Sesame Street and get it out of Oscar the Grouch's garbage can.

Gabe Saporta (ex Midtown, current Cobra Starship) totally reminds me of Vanilla Ice. The two of them also have a great deal in common, they both suck. Ya know?

Senses Fail has a new CD coming out called "Life Is Not A Waiting Room" and it drops hard as hell on October 7th, 2008. In an effort to appeal to Star Wars fans, they put a storm trooper on the cover? Put it this way, I would rather have anal sex with George Lucas than listen to one second of Senses Fail.