Reasons I Hate My Dad:

1. We're poor

2. He stole MY fedora hat and thinks that no one knows he's using it to cover up his bald spot

3. Instead of getting a job, he formed a band with all of his old-ass-geezer friends called We Shot The Moon

4. They stole MY guitar, MY amp and MY PA and use them to practice the same shitty We Shot The Moon songs over and over and over and over and over and over and over again

5. They stole my diary and are using my love poetry for their We Shot The Moon lyrics

6. They hang out in my room all day long and talk about some stupid band they played with 3 decades ago called The Ramones - who they FUCK are they?! I hate the oldies.

7. They confiscated my w33d stash and then smoked all of it in one afternoon (and the one dude with the tramp stamp drank all the bong water... UMMM????)

8. They're drunk right now and they are asking/demanding me to cook them Ramen Noodles

9. They just told me they are playing a battle of the bands (must sell at least 10,000 tickets) in our town and the winner gets to play some random shitty stage at our local Warped Tour (doors are at 11AM but they have to play their set at 8AM)

I can't wait to go to college and get away from all of this shit We Shot The Moon shit. Being a tweeeeen is so lame. I am so over it. And Dad, I can't make it to the battle of the bands to see you "perform" - me and Tara will be at the mall that night. The mall rocks (unlike YOUR band).