Dear Cap'n Crunch,

You are a fuck face. Go fuck yourself. Crunch berries taste like shit. Why would anyone possibly want that OOPS! ALL BERRIES cereal?

The only people who probably eat that cereal are people who listen to Between The Trees. Just sayin'

Hey have you heard of the band called Between The Trees? If your answer is no, let me ask you this... have you ever listened to that band called Coldplay? I am sure you have. Bitch, don't act like you never heard Coldplay before. Their music is playing in the background of every Grey's Anatomy episode (in other news: would fuck Dr. McSteamy, no homo... or maybe homo... i don't even fuckin' know anymore, kjasdjkldasjklasd). Between The Trees sound like Coldplay. MOSH ON! Coldplay brings the mosh and the windmills. FTW!

Anyways... less talk about Coldplay and more talk about Between The Trees. I don't like Buh Teen Da Tweez. My mom doesn't listen to them either. Why? It is because my mom and I have good taste in music. The music that Between The Trees create is horrid and leaves a nasty ass taste all up in yo mouf (even nastier than dad's jizz). In fact, if you could turn the music of Between Da Cheese into a breakfast cereal, you would surely get Cap'n Crunch's OOPS! ALL BERRIES cereal. Fuckin' worst cereal ever.

Love,
FuckThatBand.com Staff

P.S. For another cereal related post, CLICK HERE. Or don't. We don't care.

P.S.S. Mom, if you are reading this post, I need a ride to the mall later on. K?

The music by Mayday Parade is just like Wendy's: shitty and overpriced, and undercooked, and the service is horrible, one time I ordered a Frosty, just a Frosty and it took 25 minutes. For a fucking Frosty! Fuck Mayday Parade, it was all their fault. I am sure THEY were behind that SOMEHOW. Jerks.

Another thing that pisses me off about Wendy's, oops, I mean Mayday Parade, oops I mean Wendy's, oops I mean Mayday Parade is those commercials they have where they go "It's Not Fast Food. It's Wendy’s." How is Wendy's not fast food? It's like the fucking definition of fast food. Telling me Wendy's is not fast food is like telling me that Mayday Parade makes "decent" music. NO FUCKIN WAY MAN!!! If you try to spoon feed me those lies, I am going to THROW UP ON YOU AND YOUR CHEAP MONDAY JEANS. Cheap monday jeans are for dorks.

Sent from my Amazon Kindle.

I mean...

Sent from my iPad.

Yo, I gotta say, this dog is so much more cooler than The Maine. The dog has more style than that whole band put together. This dog could teach these dudes how to dress.

* Naked? Check!
* Pair of shades? Check!
* Hat? Check!

No one in The Maine is naked. FAIL.

No one in The Maine is wearing shades. FAIL. (but this one time, some dude from The Main did wear some shades, CLICK HERE to read)

No one in The Maine is wearing a hat. FAIL.

The Maine sucks. Anyways, less chat about The Maine and more chat about this dog. I wonder if this dog is in a band? I wonder if he is the singer? I would totally mosh hard to his shit. I bet he is straight edge. Straight edge is the coolest. Drinking is LAME!!!! lol

Have you ever heard of the "FF DP Milk 2,000 Gallon Challenge?" It is a physical challenge that is sweeping the nation in which a single person attempts to drink 1,000 gallons of milk mixed with a 1,000 gallons of Dr. Pepper within one minute without vomiting. And the person needs to be listening to Fight Fair while he/she/it is drinking the Dr. Pepper-milk stuff. Here are the rules:

* The entire 2,000 gallons must be consumed within the course of one minute.

* If one vomits, one is disqualified.

* If one stops listening to Fight Fair, one is disqualified.

If it wasn't for the whole "you gotta listen to Fight Fair" thing, this game would be EASY PEASY but man, every time I listen to Fight Fair, I just can't help but throw up all over the place. Even if I haven't eaten anything in days, I just start throwing up my insides. Man, that band is totes UNCOOL.

P.S. Is the beach still cool? Should I start a band and take "promo" pics on the beach? I love the beach. The beach is so chill. Can you pass that Corona? This Jimmy Buffett CD is siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick, bro! He's like talking, brah, about partying and drinking and the ocean and the beach and shit. Insane. It's like he read my mind. Jimmy RULES! Are you a Jimmy fan like me?

For another Jimmy post, click here.

Damn, guys. I just discovered something astounding. It's a band... FROM CANADA. Apparently they make music with real electric guitars and real electric basses. The fact that Canada even has access to electricity is news to me.

The band is called Ten Second Epic. Shall we chat about them? SURE! Why not?

Some bro wearing an Iron Maiden shirt? Insert LOL text here.

Some bro blowing bubbles? Insert LOL text here.

Some bro wearing a wolf shirt? Insert LOL text here.

Some bro who looks like Pikachu? Insert LOL text here.

I love joke bands. Wait, they aren't a joke band? Oooooof! That hurts.

It hurts almost as much as when I pee, but when hasn't it hurt, right? Peeing is supposed to hurt/burn, it's like an unwritten rule! It also burns when I stretch, throw a football, or yawn. Or if I get up really fast or sit down too hard. It hurts when I pee, and I pee whenever I'm hurt. I am pretty sure all my problems are somehow related to the music Ten Second Epic makes.

Ten Second Epic? More like Ten Second Joke! Oooooof! That hurts.

Damn, I think if alternative music blogging doesn't work out as a career for me, I am going to be an anthropologist that specializes in foreign bands. Maybe I could even study abroad for a semester and follow Ten Second Epic around the wilds of Canada. Damn, that would seriously be crazy. Better start stocking up on Yellow Fever/ H1N1/ Malaria/ Chicken PoxXx vaccines asapz. And earplugs too, because any punk rawk that is not made in the US of A is automatic shit.

U S A! U S A!

Do you know those stupid rolling backpacks that lame students roll around when they are walking in the hallways? Those backpacks are so annoying. Only nerds use those backpacks. Backpacks are meant to be worn on your back, why do some people find the need to purchase those wheeled ones? Once again, only nerds use those backpacks.

In other news, I am almost positive that every member of Just Surrender owns one of those rolling backpacks.

Would you listen to a band where each member owned a rolling backpack?

EXACTLY! Me neither.

For another post about my baby boyz in Just Surrender, click here.

Hello, here is something you probably already knew but I figured I would tell you anyway... Silversun Pickups sound like shit. So does Blink 182 and so does Angels and Airwaves. Real talk.

Oh yea, and that one dude from Silversun Pickups looks like that one dude from Blink/Angels. Truth.

But seriously, remember when Blink 182 was cool? They are sellouts. They suck. I really loved their old shit though. My favorite old Blink song from "back in the day" is the song that went like this:

When I was a young boy,
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.

He said, "Son when you grow up,
would you be the savior of the broken,
the beaten and the damned?"

He said "Will you defeat them,
your demons, and all the non-believers,
the plans that they have made?"
"Because one day I'll leave you,
A phantom to lead you in the summer,
To join The Black Parade."

Best Blink lyrics ever. Those lyrics mean/meant a lot to me. Blink used to rule!

In other news, my mom already asked me if I wanted to go out to eat and I told her no, I know for a fact she told my dad, and yet he comes in here anyway to ask me and bother me about it. I HATE MY PARENTS! GOD! FUCKIN LOSERS!